I watched the utube of Mandy when she sang in front of Simon Cowell and she won the Golden Buzzer. Of course I cried. I have kleenex beside me. The questions you ask are profound and deep. Lately I have confronted myself with this story which occurred when I was in 8th grade. I just now am beginning to understand how much it impacted me. I was in a Creative Writing Class. For our final Grade we had to do a Project. So I wrote a book and illustrated it with origami paper in collage work. When I turned it in the teacher gave me an A Plus. She wanted it published. But my mother told me it was nonesense. I was too shy to call the woman who wanted it published. Then...the teacher took my book and said she wanted to use it for future classes as a reference on how to get an A plus. I was too shy by her authority to say anything. But I was devastated. I worked so hard on that book. And now years later I am angry at that teacher for stealing my book and being selfish. I realize it did something deep inside me to stifle my creativity. My mother was always stifling me but that is another story. I realize after watching Mandy I have allowed ( yes me) others to take things and gifts from me that do not belong to them and even though I am so much older...I have to be so much wiser about myself as I go down the carpet into the gloaming years. And now, I have so much to catch up on with your songs Jena and myself. This was beautiful. Thank you Jena.
Oh Jennifer. that was such a crappy thing for your mother to do. And then for your teacher to TAKE the book. NOT NOT NOT okay. Do you remember what was in it? Would it help to recreate it for yourself by telling us?
Hi Jena...its funny..my husband asked me to recreate the book. But honestly, it feels like an artist whose painting was stolen then asked to recreate it again because it was stolen. I feel at this point it would be best for me to just move through this....it is fascinating that it has been just this MONTH that I realized how selfish that teacher was!!! And of course a "normal" mother would be thrilled and excited for her daughter and would want to help in any way. My mother never even knew my book was taken. And frankly she would not have cared....and she would be MORTIFIED that I am even talking about my FEELINGS to people on a BLOG! OH THE SHAME!! 🤣🤣 But honestly reading about Molly has helped me. I too was encouraged to read by my mother. I too read the Summer of 42. We are all complicated beings...and it really helped me to read Molly's story and to hear this beautiful deaf woman ding AND to have you Jena master minding this wonderful endeavor and for the cheerleaders in the background!
Yeah...I guess I'd feel the same way. It just makes me so dang angry FOR you. That said what could you create that would be a celebration of this amazing process you are going through?
P.S. So very glad this Substack has become a place where people can share these amazing stories. Hugs! You are very welcome.
Good question Jena! I am going to seriously ponder this! Perhaps a childrens book on something precious stolen but that no one can steal what is precious inside us...or something along these lines. Perhaps I will make a book about a girl making a book and how it was stolen and how she was jeered and put down but when she was an older woman the curse of sadnesd was taken away and she wrote again...and it became the book. Hmmmmm....🤔🤔🤔🤔
Thank you Molly. When I was young and the teacher took my book I attempted to convince myself she took my book and it was a positive thing because she loved it so much. Now I know she coveted my book, gaslighted me and made me sad. I hate to sound all whiney about it at my age but honestly it was a very shitty thing for her to do knowing all the work I put into it AND she made no attempt to help me with the woman who wanted to try to get it published. So all these years later I am finally figuring out on my own that some of my problems with my writers block literally come from her stealing my book. But now that I have come to grips with it which ironically has literally bern in the past several weeks, hopefully I can move forward instead of staying in repressed fear and anger. Sigh....this is such a great place to vent. XXOO
I felt that punch in the gut for you as I read your essay. Is it not horrific and amazing in a not good amazing way how those we love and believe can literally knock not only our wind out of our bodies but knock us off course when we are so young and vulnerable. I can relate. The only thing to do is start again. Easier said than done. I feel for you. I do.
Yes, every time I write about my childhood I have to take a deep breath and surround myself with self-love. The plays that wounded us so badly set the stage for our freedom and ability to help others. KEEP WRITING, please.
First, my dear Molly, I salute your courage and determination not to take the easy way out. And second, I feel alternately sick to my stomach and elated FOR you because this feels like a homecoming. You are and forever will be a writer - never doubt it and never, ever walk away from it again.
This is a story that deserves to be told, not just for yourself, but for every young woman who has had her dreams crushed by well-meaning loved ones, mentors, teachers, or in my case a coach who told me I failed to make the Olympic team because I lacked the talent. These moments are literally life-altering.
I hesitate to judge them because, like you, the path I took to deal with the hurt taught me SO much about why and how people make themselves small. And I have no doubt that you learned an enormous amount by taking care of yourself and your family. BUT, now it's time to come back to the stories - time to write with the honesty and elation of the young woman you were combined with the hindsight and wisdom of the woman you became.
I can't wait to read more, especially about your relationship with your mother. It must have been so hard to defy her - to face the fact that she felt she needed to make you think less of yourself to keep you safe. That one hurts.
Maybe consider buying stock in Kleenex as you get it all written down ;-) And know that you have readers here who are interested and believe that your story has great value. Thank you for trusting me with it. HUGS!
I guess the most important thing IMHO s that you get it all down. You can make the connections and weave the different pieces together later. What you are capturing is priceless - the memories and details that fuel the story. I hope you will keep going because you have clearly taped something powerful. Hugs.
I watched the utube of Mandy when she sang in front of Simon Cowell and she won the Golden Buzzer. Of course I cried. I have kleenex beside me. The questions you ask are profound and deep. Lately I have confronted myself with this story which occurred when I was in 8th grade. I just now am beginning to understand how much it impacted me. I was in a Creative Writing Class. For our final Grade we had to do a Project. So I wrote a book and illustrated it with origami paper in collage work. When I turned it in the teacher gave me an A Plus. She wanted it published. But my mother told me it was nonesense. I was too shy to call the woman who wanted it published. Then...the teacher took my book and said she wanted to use it for future classes as a reference on how to get an A plus. I was too shy by her authority to say anything. But I was devastated. I worked so hard on that book. And now years later I am angry at that teacher for stealing my book and being selfish. I realize it did something deep inside me to stifle my creativity. My mother was always stifling me but that is another story. I realize after watching Mandy I have allowed ( yes me) others to take things and gifts from me that do not belong to them and even though I am so much older...I have to be so much wiser about myself as I go down the carpet into the gloaming years. And now, I have so much to catch up on with your songs Jena and myself. This was beautiful. Thank you Jena.
Oh Jennifer. that was such a crappy thing for your mother to do. And then for your teacher to TAKE the book. NOT NOT NOT okay. Do you remember what was in it? Would it help to recreate it for yourself by telling us?
Hi Jena...its funny..my husband asked me to recreate the book. But honestly, it feels like an artist whose painting was stolen then asked to recreate it again because it was stolen. I feel at this point it would be best for me to just move through this....it is fascinating that it has been just this MONTH that I realized how selfish that teacher was!!! And of course a "normal" mother would be thrilled and excited for her daughter and would want to help in any way. My mother never even knew my book was taken. And frankly she would not have cared....and she would be MORTIFIED that I am even talking about my FEELINGS to people on a BLOG! OH THE SHAME!! 🤣🤣 But honestly reading about Molly has helped me. I too was encouraged to read by my mother. I too read the Summer of 42. We are all complicated beings...and it really helped me to read Molly's story and to hear this beautiful deaf woman ding AND to have you Jena master minding this wonderful endeavor and for the cheerleaders in the background!
Yeah...I guess I'd feel the same way. It just makes me so dang angry FOR you. That said what could you create that would be a celebration of this amazing process you are going through?
P.S. So very glad this Substack has become a place where people can share these amazing stories. Hugs! You are very welcome.
Good question Jena! I am going to seriously ponder this! Perhaps a childrens book on something precious stolen but that no one can steal what is precious inside us...or something along these lines. Perhaps I will make a book about a girl making a book and how it was stolen and how she was jeered and put down but when she was an older woman the curse of sadnesd was taken away and she wrote again...and it became the book. Hmmmmm....🤔🤔🤔🤔
LOVE it! Turn all this into a way to help kids learn too! HUGS!
Thank you Molly. When I was young and the teacher took my book I attempted to convince myself she took my book and it was a positive thing because she loved it so much. Now I know she coveted my book, gaslighted me and made me sad. I hate to sound all whiney about it at my age but honestly it was a very shitty thing for her to do knowing all the work I put into it AND she made no attempt to help me with the woman who wanted to try to get it published. So all these years later I am finally figuring out on my own that some of my problems with my writers block literally come from her stealing my book. But now that I have come to grips with it which ironically has literally bern in the past several weeks, hopefully I can move forward instead of staying in repressed fear and anger. Sigh....this is such a great place to vent. XXOO
Wonderful, Jena!!
I felt that punch in the gut for you as I read your essay. Is it not horrific and amazing in a not good amazing way how those we love and believe can literally knock not only our wind out of our bodies but knock us off course when we are so young and vulnerable. I can relate. The only thing to do is start again. Easier said than done. I feel for you. I do.
Right there with you Jennifer. I hope Molly keeps writing, though. She's good at it!
Yes! We must read Molly's writings!
Yes, every time I write about my childhood I have to take a deep breath and surround myself with self-love. The plays that wounded us so badly set the stage for our freedom and ability to help others. KEEP WRITING, please.
First, my dear Molly, I salute your courage and determination not to take the easy way out. And second, I feel alternately sick to my stomach and elated FOR you because this feels like a homecoming. You are and forever will be a writer - never doubt it and never, ever walk away from it again.
This is a story that deserves to be told, not just for yourself, but for every young woman who has had her dreams crushed by well-meaning loved ones, mentors, teachers, or in my case a coach who told me I failed to make the Olympic team because I lacked the talent. These moments are literally life-altering.
I hesitate to judge them because, like you, the path I took to deal with the hurt taught me SO much about why and how people make themselves small. And I have no doubt that you learned an enormous amount by taking care of yourself and your family. BUT, now it's time to come back to the stories - time to write with the honesty and elation of the young woman you were combined with the hindsight and wisdom of the woman you became.
I can't wait to read more, especially about your relationship with your mother. It must have been so hard to defy her - to face the fact that she felt she needed to make you think less of yourself to keep you safe. That one hurts.
Maybe consider buying stock in Kleenex as you get it all written down ;-) And know that you have readers here who are interested and believe that your story has great value. Thank you for trusting me with it. HUGS!
You are most welcome :-)
I guess the most important thing IMHO s that you get it all down. You can make the connections and weave the different pieces together later. What you are capturing is priceless - the memories and details that fuel the story. I hope you will keep going because you have clearly taped something powerful. Hugs.