Gosh...so many scars...so little time to name them. I look at my photos of when I was in my teens and twenties and I was beautiful. I was. But! Here is the Sad weird thing...because I had a mother who constantly put me down and I was bullied ( I now realize people were jealous but when you are young and tender you don't know). So, One thing it taught me was looks do not matter. At all. Kindness and integrity matters. This stuck with me. Also, it made me fight for underdogs and against bullies. It also made me realize that people who bully are projecting their own insecurities like projectile vomit. Which is why I am able to forgive my mother who now has dementia for being brutal. She took her own talents and beauty for granted. And when I say beauty...I am not talking about physical beauty only because this is truly subjective. I love the song Joe Cocker sung You Are So Beautiful to me. It is a song we must sing to those we love and to ourselves. We all have the choice to be beautiful or ugly. To be broken down or mended with gold.
I really enjoyed your take on this. Wouldn't be lovely if we were able to sing "You Are So Beautiful" and "The First Time Ever I Aaw Your Face" to each and every child so they grew up believing in their own beauty?
Thank you for reading and for the encouragement. I'm hoping to get folks to attend the weekly live concerts - where the themes are introduced - then come to Substack to talk and share their stories. It will be easier when I can record the entire performance and post that to Substack too. Appointment viewing in this day and age is a little rough.
I'm not sure how I would distill all that into a book. Any suggestions will be cheerfully entertained. Hugs!
Jena! Getting people to do ANYTHING is difficult. Attending a weekly live concert is a brilliant idea---and it will take months and months to build. I suggest you do not ask people to do TWO things. Just put the video of the live performance ON SUBSTACK and that way....we can all talk about it and share stories.
Thanks for the feedback E. Jean. I will post the videos when the concert doesn't take place in virtual reality. That's harder to do. That's why I may post only their songs. Many of those who perform for me in VR cannot appear live due to physical challenges.
Own your story. Yes! And I loved this line, " They have to shed the other voices." It took me a long time to find and root out those voices. It helped to have a good therapist who was there to say, "that isn't a very loving thing to say to yourself." Why isn't it ok to love ourselves?
The problem I have is that we teach this stuff to our kids - to compare, compete, believe that grades, and looks, and money, and relationships define their worth. So many people go through life not even knowing that those ways of seeing and being in the world are unhealthy and need to be questioned.
This obsession with outward identities is one reason I sat down and created an online course after I lost my job to COVID. I called it, "Rough Edges." I wanted young women (particularly millennials) to know that we are all a little rough around the edges and that's a good thing. The class included not only exercises for identifying and debunking the confronting myths of perfection but the tools needed to rewrite life stories as well. It also helped me to write it!
Do you know Brene Brown? This roundtable discussion she did on Red Table Talk was AWESOME! Have a listen. I especially liked the distinction she makes between shame and guilt. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1413137392209660
P.S. Couldn't agree more about showing off our scars as long as we know the right time and place to do so.
Oh my gosh yes! I discovered Brene via YouTube video on vulnerability. It is still one of my all time favorites because she is so open and honest about her own process. You laugh and groan and squirm right along with her as she confronts her demons. So glad you liked it!
Gosh...so many scars...so little time to name them. I look at my photos of when I was in my teens and twenties and I was beautiful. I was. But! Here is the Sad weird thing...because I had a mother who constantly put me down and I was bullied ( I now realize people were jealous but when you are young and tender you don't know). So, One thing it taught me was looks do not matter. At all. Kindness and integrity matters. This stuck with me. Also, it made me fight for underdogs and against bullies. It also made me realize that people who bully are projecting their own insecurities like projectile vomit. Which is why I am able to forgive my mother who now has dementia for being brutal. She took her own talents and beauty for granted. And when I say beauty...I am not talking about physical beauty only because this is truly subjective. I love the song Joe Cocker sung You Are So Beautiful to me. It is a song we must sing to those we love and to ourselves. We all have the choice to be beautiful or ugly. To be broken down or mended with gold.
I really enjoyed your take on this. Wouldn't be lovely if we were able to sing "You Are So Beautiful" and "The First Time Ever I Aaw Your Face" to each and every child so they grew up believing in their own beauty?
Yes Jena Yes!
Ooo please do. How old is your son? What is he like, if that's not too personal. If it is just ignore me :-)
Oh, I like him already :-) Does he publish or share his poetry?
Haha..thank you Molly!
Jena! This newsletter is so good, the idea is so fruitful, it would also make a very, very good book!
Thank you for reading and for the encouragement. I'm hoping to get folks to attend the weekly live concerts - where the themes are introduced - then come to Substack to talk and share their stories. It will be easier when I can record the entire performance and post that to Substack too. Appointment viewing in this day and age is a little rough.
I'm not sure how I would distill all that into a book. Any suggestions will be cheerfully entertained. Hugs!
Jena! Getting people to do ANYTHING is difficult. Attending a weekly live concert is a brilliant idea---and it will take months and months to build. I suggest you do not ask people to do TWO things. Just put the video of the live performance ON SUBSTACK and that way....we can all talk about it and share stories.
Thanks for the feedback E. Jean. I will post the videos when the concert doesn't take place in virtual reality. That's harder to do. That's why I may post only their songs. Many of those who perform for me in VR cannot appear live due to physical challenges.
So true Molly.
Own your story. Yes! And I loved this line, " They have to shed the other voices." It took me a long time to find and root out those voices. It helped to have a good therapist who was there to say, "that isn't a very loving thing to say to yourself." Why isn't it ok to love ourselves?
The problem I have is that we teach this stuff to our kids - to compare, compete, believe that grades, and looks, and money, and relationships define their worth. So many people go through life not even knowing that those ways of seeing and being in the world are unhealthy and need to be questioned.
This obsession with outward identities is one reason I sat down and created an online course after I lost my job to COVID. I called it, "Rough Edges." I wanted young women (particularly millennials) to know that we are all a little rough around the edges and that's a good thing. The class included not only exercises for identifying and debunking the confronting myths of perfection but the tools needed to rewrite life stories as well. It also helped me to write it!
Do you know Brene Brown? This roundtable discussion she did on Red Table Talk was AWESOME! Have a listen. I especially liked the distinction she makes between shame and guilt. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1413137392209660
P.S. Couldn't agree more about showing off our scars as long as we know the right time and place to do so.
Brene Brown rocks!
Indeed she does!
Oh my gosh yes! I discovered Brene via YouTube video on vulnerability. It is still one of my all time favorites because she is so open and honest about her own process. You laugh and groan and squirm right along with her as she confronts her demons. So glad you liked it!