Help Me So I Can Help Them

A Simple Request

This post was a long time coming.

It was born of a lot of work slogging through old patterns and beliefs I learned as a child about who has and who doesn’t have money, who deserves money, and what you have to do to get money.

According to my parents, money was hard to get. You had to work hard at jobs you disliked and if you were unfortunate enough to want to be an artist, then you were both delusionsal (“What makes you so special?” they’d ask), and could expect to have a difficult life.

One of the other unhealthy beliefs I absorbed was martyrdom. It was okay, I was told, to ask for money to help others, but not for myself. It has taken me 66 years on the planet to finally understand how destructive and cruel that belief is. Put another way, it is selfish and shameful to ask for help for me. The person I am only matters if I am doing for others, not for myself.

What I’ve finally understood is that the work I am able to do for others would not exist if it were not for me - little, old, tired, gray haired, wrinkled me sitting in my two-room apartment struggling to make enough to pay the bills and have enough to eat.

The human me is just as deserving as the kids I champion and the causes I fight for. And, unless human me can survive and care for herself - physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally - there will be no children’s books, no inspiring online classes, programs, and initiatives like Braided Lives, Songs 4 Ukraine, and Song Flight. The light and love and joy that I bring to the planet will be extinguished.

That last sentence makes me very sad. I love this life. Not a day goes by that I don’t walk out into the world and, as Mary Oliver put it, “to be dazzled, then to be reflective.” I want and intend to be here - to keep working on projects that give me joy and bring joy to others - to be an example of how love and laughter and creativity can thrive. I want to live.

But I’m at a bit of a crossroads. My last contract position ended two months ago and I have been applying to five to ten jobs a day since. So far, nothing has come through. I tell you this because I don’t want you to think that I’m not doing my best (I have ALWAYS done my best) or that I take what I am asking you lightly.

I could really REALLY use some help right now. Any money you can spare will be used to pay rent, bills, and buy food. It will be used to keep me going long enough to land one of these many jobs and continue to pour my energy into Songs 4 Ukraine and Song Flight. It will enable me to stay alive.

Here is the link to my Go Fund Me page. Thank you so much for reading along and for seeing and believing in me and my vision: https://gofund.me/26920e97

In love and light,
Jena