“What is it with you and horses?” a friend asked when I told her how excited I was about going to see an old equine friend and to be introduced to a new one.
Anyone who has loved a horse knows the answer but may have trouble coming up with specifics that will satisfy non-horsey folks. I’ve tried. I talk about the smell of horse barns - the smell of leather saddles and tack mixed with horse sweat, the sun-dried smell of straw and hay bales stacked in corners, and the ever present grassy scent of horse manure. I talk about the wooden stalls with hoof prints stamped into their sides; about how I love to see a friendly horse poke its head over a stall door or across a fence to say hello; about how the sight of horses grazing in a field is both picturesque and reassuring, and how much I enjoy the methodical crunching that follows the gift of a carrot or apple.
And then there are the horses who’ve become actual friends. It’s hard to say how this happens exactly. I’ve never felt much affection for some horses I cared for regularly, but fell in love with others the instant we met. The latter was the case with Lucy, an older chestnut mare with a white blaze running down the front of her face. Lucy was living the good life in an open pasture with a thirty-year-old bay gelding named Rocky. Rocky lived his entire life with the family that bred and raised him - serving as a combination family pet, riding instructor, and go to horse for trail rides and parades. When Rocky retired, Lucy was added to the pasture to keep him company.
Lucy and Rocky were inseparable until the day Rocky couldn’t get to his feet. The vet was called and Lucy was suddenly and irreparably without her Rocky.
When I’d seen her last, Lucy had moved past mourning into a deep state of resignation. She barely acknowledged me when I entered the pasture and couldn’t be bothered to perform her usual sniff and greet. I laid my hand on one side of her withers, leaned into her neck, and began offering the only thing I had to give - love. It was the only thing I knew to do - the only thing that helped me when I lost a beloved friend. Knowing someone cared and that the one I’d lost was still alive within me were what got me through. So I stood there, picturing Rocky as I’d known him, rubbing her neck, and willing her to feel him too.
But today’s visit was for another reason entirely. Lucy had recently acquired a new pasture mate - a bay quarter horse mare named Ruby - and I was going to meet her. I found the two of them at the far end of their pasture standing nose to tail swishing flies from one another’s face as they dozed in the mid-morning sun. The moment she recognized me Lucy disengaged and came over to say hello. Ruby wasn’t far behind and immediately let me know who was in charge. She laid back her ears and advanced on Lucy with what looked like murderous intent. Lucy, who was clearly used to this, laid her own ears back, turned her backside to Ruby (just in case she needed to kick), and moved a few yards away.
From my perspective this was not the most optimal time for a meet and greet, but Ruby thought otherwise. She immediately pricked her years, stepped forward, took a few good sniffs, and then let me know that she wouldn’t be adverse to a game of tickle my lips. When she’d had enough of that, she turned her head so I could scratch behind her ears. Meanwhile Lucy looked on with clear annoyance. She might as well have said, “someone needs to teach that mare some manners.” Of course I already knew that establishing pecking orders was a thing with mares. In wild herds it is the mares who create and enforce the rules and teach the younger ones how to behave. I was pretty sure Ruby had decided she was the boss mare in this herd.
Eventually, thanks to my friend who was willing to help distract Ruby with treats, I got to spend some time with Lucy. Gone were the sadness and loneliness. In their place were contentment and belonging. Thanks to a small, spunky bay mare named Ruby, Lucy felt home.
I have no idea if I’ve answered the initial question posed by my friend at the start of this piece, but I want to encourage you to find time to meet a horse or two in the year ahead. When I say meet, I don’t mean going to a racetrack, taking a ride in a horse drawn carriage, attending a horse show, or even saddling up for a trail ride. All those are things we ask horses to do for us - not who they are. Try visiting an equine rescue, reading and watching videos by folks who spend their days helping horses and/or learning from them. Try simply being with a horse without expectations. I think they may surprise you.
Finally, I hope your holidays are full of love, light, and a sense of belonging.
Love and Hugs,
Jena
P.S Many thanks to my dear friend G who made my visit with Lucy and Ruby possible.
Resources
Buttons and Bows Boutique: The images at the top of this post can be found on a variety of items including tees, framed prints, and mugs: https://www.dreamingwideawake.org/buttonsandbows
The Red Mare by Tania Kindersley: The journey of one very ordinary middle-aged human and one very special thoroughbred mare.
That description (from Tania’s Facebook group) doesn’t begin to tell you what she has learned and shares about her relationship with the red mare and her pasture mates. She calls what her horses have taught “the place of peace,” and her stories will enthrall and touch you deeply. I promise. Find her on FB or Substack.Help Alberta Wildies (HAWS): A husband and wife team who have dedicated their lives to protecting and preserving the lives of Canada’s wild horses. Their dedication, compassion, and ongoing struggle to keep the government from
FACEBOOK
WEBSITEColby’s Crew Rescue: Every year in the United States, nearly 21,000 horses are shipped out to Mexico or Canada to slaughter houses. Their last stop before the slaughter house is a direct-ship kill pen. Colby's Crew rescues horses from kill pens, auctions, and bad situations then provides rehabilitation, veterinary care, training, and eventually adoption to forever homes!
FACEBOOK
WEBSITEVet Crew: Two veterinarians (a husband and wife team) working out of Odessa, Ukraine. There they cope with bombings, shootings, and the destruction of infrastructure like dams, electricity, and water supplies as they fight to rescue and provide medical care for all the animals that have been injured and/or abandoned as a result of the Russian invasion.
Copyright 2024 by Jena Ball. All Rights Reserved.
Loved the photos, Jena!
I grew up hanging around in horse stables and that smell is one forever associated with family, home, and happy moments.